34 years

In July I had a birthday. It made me reflect on my life these past 34 years. It a blessing to look back and "Remember how merciful the Lord hath been" therefore gaining perspective and strength for your current challenges by being willing to see how he has shown up in the past (Moroni 10:3).

At birth I was born into an incredible family, with parents who loved the Lord and taught me to too.

At 14 I started to gain a lot more interest in spiritual things. Some nights I would stay up late just to wait for everyone to go to bed, so I could be alone and read scriptures and pray. I reached out to him, and He reached out to me.

At 17 I graduated from high school and was so eager to start college. I felt so different from my peers and wanted to be surrounded by people like me. I began at the college of my dreams, BYU, before my 18th birthday.

As a 20-year-old college student, I was looking forward to serving a mission when I met a really cool guy who I thought was worth changing my plans for, and I am always grateful for him. 

At 22 I became a mother and my baby was completely different than I had imagined. She was wild and spirited, and parenting humbled me from the start.

At 25 I found out I was surprise pregnant with baby #3, make that three kids in three years and I fearfully walked into the unknown world of two toddlers and a newborn. Turns out my newborn was an easygoing baby and I'm grateful for the Lord's wisdom in that!

When I was 26 my eight-month old baby had a two-hour open heart surgery. We were lifted and comforted by the prayers and fasting of many, and he will now live a long and healthy life.

Again when I was 26 I embarked on a masters degree program as a student-mother. Lifted up by family and friends and especially my eternal companion I completed my course work.

At 28, a move and a baby later, I graduated and through the hand of God I was handed the perfect job for me.

My perfect roly poly smiley baby turned into the hardest toddler. He was in to EVERYTHING and I was exhausted and my house was always a mess. This was a challenging time for me, but I chose to continue to rely on my Savior and petition him for help.

As I entered my 30's I wrestled with the Lord, as adjusting to the move wasn't easy and the future felt so uncertain as we unfruitfully searched for a home. I grew so much in my love and trust in Him in this time of waiting.

At 33, after 5 years searching for a house, we finally bought the biggest work project the Lord could find for us ;). But it ended up being a very happy place on five acres of land.

 I love to take the time to reflect on the Lord's hand in the story He has written for my life. He is so merciful and kind and has taught me so much. I love to know that his guidance and lessons are not just unique to me, that for each one of his beloved children He has been guiding us and leading us along the way. No matter what things are in our story that we wish wasn't there, or things that are omitted from our story that we desperately want, I know the Lord is reaching out with mercy and love, and if we want to we can see it.