Sacrificing to go to youth activities
When I was growing up we went to EVERY church activity. We never missed a single one. It was a huge blessing in my life and now that I have youth of my own I've seen a big reason why.
I think sometimes we frame youth activities (mutual) attendance as an "extra." As an "if you can make it." A great social and spiritual opportunity for your kids that is not mandatory but is a good thing to do. Therefore, just like anything else in life, sometimes we don't make it.
But what if you saw youth activities through a completely different lens?
I've started to realize that when we never missed a church activity as a youth, it became part of my identity. We missed other things to attend youth activities.
When your kids have a sports activity on Wednesday and therefore you miss mutual, you are telling your kid sports are more important that church activities. Think about it-- I know that in other circumstances, a family emergency, some kind of important family outing, you weren't feeling well, you missed sports. People miss sports practices, even games all the time for various important reasons. You want to send the message to your kids: we are not a sports family. We are a church family. I know for me, I don't care if my child becomes an elite gymnast, but I do care if they prioritize church in their life. I want church to become part of their identity. By saying "no" to other things on Wednesday night, you are showing your child that church, not sports, is your family's identity. Recently we switched Delaney's dance studio because she would always have class on Wednesday nights. It's that important to me! You wonder why your kids don't see the Gospel as important, and start looking at what kind of message you are sending them by what you are sacrificing for.
Not every church activity is fun or my kid's cup of tea. That is insignificant. Youth activities are not all about my youth and are not there to entertain them. It's a great way to teach your kid to look outside of themselves, see who they can serve, and show up and be there. When a kid knows they are going to the activity, regardless of what the activity is, it again sends the message going to church is part of who I am. It's not something I do if I want to, it's something I always do because that is who I am.
Going to youth activities is what it means to sustain your church leaders. I think sometimes we only think of sustaining as raising our hand when someone is called. But sustaining is an action word, it means supporting someone in fulfilling their calling. It's something we've covenanted to do once we are baptized, and it's important to teach your kids what living their covenants looks like in everyday life.
I want my kids to want to participate in church activities and enjoy going to church. You know what makes kids want to go to things? That there friends are there! Do you know how kids make friends? They spend lots of time with them! Every single week you have an opportunity for your kids to grow deeper relationships with other youth at church and therefore make Sundays, girls camp, temple trips, and every other thing more enjoyable for them. Being a youth in the church today is hard, and kids need support and peers who believe the same as they do. If all of their peers are off doing sports on Wednesday nights rather than coming to mutual, they are not growing those relationships. They are not gaining a support system. I know you want as much I as I want for our kids to be a support to each other. Show your child that helping them feel comfortable at church and building a foundation of friendship at church is so important to you that you are willing to rearrange everything else so they can be there. There will be a million and one soccer games but there is only one church youth experience for you child.
My kid is only 11, so it is easy to decide on these things for our family. But what if you child is 14? or 17? And doesn't want to go? I certainly haven't gotten there, but I think there's a lot you can do to help kids form these identities before they are interested in making their own choices. The younger your family starts making these sacrifices and priorities and positive attitudes about church activities, the more it impacts your kids. We start with activity days and move up from there. Once a child is old enough to make their own choices and refuses to go, you love them no matter what.
Kids learn so much by your attitude. Complaining about driving them there, complaining about the activity or the leaders, complaining about other kids not showing up or how you don't like this or that, all of that filters down to your kids and helps them form their opinions about how they feel about church and church activities. Look for the good. Compliment them. Love them. Love the other youth. It is a happier way to live and how a true disciple of Jesus Christ acts.