A new calling
I wrote this when I found out I would be called as the Young Women's President in our ward. I recently got called, and now begins a new chapter in my service in the Church.
I was really surprised today when the bishop called me into his office and asked me to be the Young Women's President. Perhaps one would be flattered (and I think I imagined I would be), but that was not the feeling I felt at all. I was surprised how inadequate I felt. Sometimes when I have ideas about things, I think, "It would be great to be the president of something and implement this." But I have been surprised that when it actually happened, the feeling was not excitement of being in charge, but actually overwhelm. I wasn't expecting that. Since I have been an adult, I've actually never been the president of anything or ever served on a ward council. In some ways the overwhelm is the same thing that I imagine missionaries feel-- I want to give perfect service to the Lord, but I am well aware of my inadequacies.
Another part of what is overwhelming about it is because I am just so unfamiliar with Young Womens. I haven't been a young woman in over 15 years, it has changed so much, and I am just unfamiliar with how everything goes. At least with other callings I've been in, I have some background in the organization, or with singing time I had served in Primary the calling before so I knew how I wanted to lead singing time somewhat. But with this calling, I have no bearings at all, and no ideas about how things should be run. I have also been surprised that my overwhelm has subsided exceedingly as the weeks have gone on, even though I still have not started my calling. I know that is a gift from the Lord as he makes me equal to my task.
I also wanted to record just how tender the extension of this call has been. Far back in my mind, I have been hoping to work in Young Womens. Ever since Cheyenne started Young Womens, I have had a desire to be where she is, to teach her classes and be a part of her growth and learning in the Church. I love how the structure of a calling at church allows you to teach your own children in a unique way-- away from the distractions of home and surrounded by girls like themselves, they can feel the spirit and hear their mom teach and testify of Christ. With the very specific curriculum of Young Womens I can speak directly to the experiences she is having right now. I love how the structure of a calling in Young Womens helps you to help your child grow in leadership, and let them see in an intimate way how and why you lead and serve the way you do and learn from your example.
I have mentioned my desire to serve in Young Womens maybe once off-handedly to one of my sisters, but apart from that I have never really expressed this desire to anyone. So it just felt like a big gift to me, like I was being seen. I felt like the Lord is one of those really good friends, one who pays attention to what you say and gets you your favorite ice cream just because you mentioned it once. It was a deep desire of my heart, "uttered or unexpressed," and He knew that intimately about me. I just felt like it was a big hug, just a gift, "I know what kind of service you want to do, and I want to give you the opportunity to do it." Many times our desires don't match what the Lord needs us to do, and I am just grateful that this was something I wanted, and he was able to grant. A lot of times in our lives we don't get what we want, and I am just so grateful for the Lord's expression of love to me in this way. I want it recorded because I want others and myself to remember that the Lord DOES answer prayers, DOES care about what we care about, CAN grant us our desires, and WANTS to give us what we wish. All of our desires will at some point be fulfilled by our loving brother, because "he came to fulfill all righteousness," and this is a record of when he has fulfilled mine. I certainly didn't hope to be the Young Women's President, maybe a teacher or something, but yet in this calling the Lord answered my unexpressed prayer.
I never expected to be the Young Women's President. Maybe a teacher or something was my hope, but I didn't expect or ever want to be the president. I was also totally surprised by this calling because one of my friends had possibly alluded to the idea that they were hoping to get me called as a Relief Society teacher, so I kind of assumed that might be what it was about. I have been thinking about some of the Youth things though. A few months ago I was really taken with the Young Women theme. More recently I have been really, really impressed with the new For Strength of Youth, and had been planning on asking the bishop for my own copy. Then a few weeks ago, I felt a strong impression that I should bare my testimony about a tender experience I had with youth and the temple prep fireside. I have known a change was coming for me for the past few months. You know when you can start to tell that your calling is going to change? I was just feeling that. I have not made any plans for the new year for singing time, because I just didn't think I'd still be in this calling in the new year.
Now starts a new year and new growth in my service for the Lord.
