Judging others
I've been settling into this beautiful new way of seeing others and I have been really grateful for it.
There's been a lot of talk about modesty and (lack of) garment wearing on the internet. I don't spend a lot of time in those spaces, but I have been thinking a lot about judging others and what my role is in the decisions that others make. I loved this quote I heard recently from Brother Lund (the YM General President) who recently spoke at a BYU devotional.
"We cannot judge each other for what we do and do not know. Belief and testimony come only through gifts of the Spirit, and the gifts of the Spirit are, after all, gifts. They are highly individualized and measuredly dispensed by a Heavenly Father who knows our hearts and needs and administers to them with divine precision."
I love this perspective and have thought a lot about it since I first heard it. My testimony is a gift. My faith is a gift. An incredible, life changing gift. It makes me lighter. It makes me whole. It makes everything easier in my life. It makes decisions easier. How then, if it is a gift from God, how then can I judge another who was not given the gift?
I've also thought a lot about how our choices are a reflection of what we understand. When people have a deep connection and understanding of the garment, wearing it is an easy choice, and not something they feel guilted or shamed into. When someone truly understands what the garment provides for them, they will wear it even when others aren't watching because it is a personal conviction of theirs. If they don't, they don't. They don't wear it with the same honor and respect. They may not wear it all the time. The same goes with Sabbath day observance, temple attendance, or any other aspect of the Gospel. What is there to judge? In reality, we are all children in our understanding of the Gospel. Don't we all have things we have not yet learned? Aren't we all beggars? As Elder Holland put it, "Don’t we all beg for forgiveness for mistakes we have made and troubles we have caused? Don’t we all implore that grace will compensate for our weaknesses, that mercy will triumph over justice at least in our case?"
It's interesting in our day with social media because you see and people share a lot more of their lives, and therefore you see a lot more of the choices people make that may be different than yours. In general, the society we live in in our modern age is a lot less interested in being outwardly proper to keep others pacified. In some ways this is good, because Heavenly Father isn't looking for those that "draw near to me with their lips but their hearts are far from me," He wants committed disciples. As Elder Renlund puts it he wants business partners, not obedient lap dogs.
God wants people who partner in his cause, not people who simply follow rules as I feel like we've learned from the new Strength of Youth. People who live this way because they want to, and have found it as a way to grow closer to Christ. Instead of spending our energy judging, we use that energy to teach, to deepen understanding, to show why we do what we do, and talk about the marvelous blessings we receive from this Gospel principle. Also, we can say nothing. Saying nothing, and not judging in our heads, is a charitable gift to those who make different choices than us.
Garment wearing is interesting because it is a very visible choice others make. It made me ponder on the things I struggle with, or don't have as strong a testimony on. What if it were broadcast to the world every time I gossiped, or didn't read my scriptures? How would I feel if my food choices were broadcast? How would it make me feel if, after it was broadcast to the internet, others, even strangers told me what a bad person I was, or how I should be ashamed of myself? How would I feel if others had conversations between themselves about how I need to change? I don't know about you, but I think most people would start to feel a little defensive of their choices. And in reality, shame is not one of Jesus' tools, it's Satan's.
God's motivation is not shame, but divine discontent. Divine discontent is an inner force, placed by God and cannot be given to another by judging or shaming. Sister Craig taught beautifully, "Our innate sense that we can do and be more create within us divine discontent. We have these feelings because we are daughters and sons of God, born with the Light of Christ yet living in a fallen world. These feelings are God given and create an urgency to act. I have learned that when I wallow in thoughts of everything I am not, I do not progress and I find it much more difficult to feel and follow the Spirit. Divine discontent spurs us to faithful action."
I'm grateful for those who give me grace while I grow, and hope I can do the same for others!
